euu typedd*:
blog
(Friday, September 30, 2005-)
+9/30/2005 11:36:00 AM]*
# hurtx deeper-
my heart had been hurt again deeper than ytd.. hiash.. yesterday was actually happy de bahx.. went out with friend.. then later go play pool.. go eat.. then happen she msg me say giving me five minutes to say whateva i wan to say to her.. but... then i just ask for being a friend.. but she dun wan.. say what her stead will angry.. will jealous.. hiash.. if like that the stead cannot trust her.. then.. hiash.. dun know what to say.. last time when she stead with me that time, she keep on talking to him on the phone lo.. dun think i dun know.. dun think i am a fool lo.. but i still let her talk with him lo.. now arx.. become his stead lioax.. then his stead dun trust her.. relationship always base on how much each person trust each other de.. but.. i not going to say much bahx.. all i can say if one day sth happen.. hope she dun regret lo.. you wan to play games with me.. i too can play that similar game.. dun wan to tok about the past.. why? u scared arx? scare of facing the reality right? scare that u are not able to lift up ur head and walk right? all those things i did for u does not seem to be good to u right? all is not good enough for you.. tell u the truth.. i can bet that i did alot of good things for u more than bad lo.. only that is you always see the bad things only.. and not the good.. i pay those things for you right? you treat it as what? as a daily thing le.. like i must treat u like that.. and once i hurt you.. u will always remember that.. and neber even dare or take ur time to think of what i had done for you before.. ok?
i really dun know what to do now... everyone around me is all finding happiness le.. i only can wish all of them happiness.. and to all my friends out there.. dun need to worry for me.. i am ok de.. all i can say.. as times goes by.. my heart may be healed once more.. but i do not know how long le.. just forgeting her is an impossible thing.. i dun wan to let go.. is already very long since we broke up.. should i look for another? or.. what.. do anyone have that answer that i been trying to solve in my heart.. who will be the one loving me again? her? not sure.. love me
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end17th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Wednesday, September 28, 2005-)
+9/28/2005 11:27:00 AM]*
# hurtx deeply..-
think i had found my answer to everything le bahx.. especially what i found out today.. hiash.. i had a very great dream last night.. i dream that my ex were in the same bus sitting together.. when all a sudden, she turn towards me and tell me that she is sorry and wan to patch back.. and later gave me a hug.. and i was so shock and stun.. everything feel so real.. i was so happy.. i was so happy till i woke up.. but when i found out that everything is just a dream.. some how.. sadness come over me again.. then later my phone got two msg.. one from her.. its her stead msg me to stop bothering her.. but why can't i look for her to chat? cannot mahx? hiash also dun know.. then later tot about a lot of things.. i did for her.. do u know that for her, i some how spend alot of money.. hiash.. i was really blind.. stupid me.. silly me.. i am a totally idiot.. to love some one.. me loving some one.. is a very very very unbelievable thing.. hiash.. i love her.. i did for her so much.. but did she appreciate it? fen.. u should know it urself.. what i had done for u ok? ya.. you say ur other ex is not like me.. still wan to be with you.. cox i had spent all my time, effort, money, on this relationship.. and to get this type of ending.. who likes.. i been cheated by you!!!!!! my 1st love.. i still remember the 1st day we stead, you tell me will give me a love that i will neber forget.. so do u mean by this? this is the love that i will neber forget right? i very painful one.. ya.. i am not a good stead.. any other guys out there are more better than me.. so u being with me is for my money only right? cox i rich.. so rich arx. tell u hor.. i now am broke.. do u know that? no right? and i still buy for u those top up cards, pay ur internet fares.. help to top up ez link cards, buy food for u to eat.. all these not enough for u? dun make u happy right? ok fine... me is lousy stead.. thats why.. i told u le.. u are my first stead.. anything that i am not doing correct can tell me? cox i really not sure what a stead should or should not do ok? and u wan freedom.. how come u neber tell me u wan freedom when i was still in holy high? tell me? u everyday will always be with me no matter rain or shin.. and after i leave holy, you tell me that u wan ur freedom.. let me tell u what i think.. is because during that time u and ur friends all not at good terms thats why u wan to be with me.. and i was that only fool who can pei u at that time.. then after i leave holy high le.. you and ur friends start to get back together.. and then think u miss those feelings of being with friends.. and from the 1st month of this year.. i think u already dun love me only.. and u cheated me.. i can agree one thing.. yes u did love me before.. but only till last month december.. the rest of the other months is all fake de.. u were just using me so u can use internet and have top up cards for free.. i know.. taking advantage of me right? cox every since that day u were dishonest with me.. i can tell it ok.. if there was a very good reason why u leave me and u tell me.. i am ok with it.. but i dun think u give me a good reason at all.. say what i keep on threatening you right? let me tell u.. that is just an excuse.. the real reason u know it inside urself.. is because u wan to be with ur friends again and found me useless anymore.. but only can be use as someone who provide money for ur things mahx.. right?
think i am totally hurt inside out.. going out for a walk.. fen.. do u know that.. what ever things that u dun like about me u can tell me? i can change? there is no need for quarreling to take place de.. hiash.. but...
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
totally hurtx..
inside out..
can someone ment this shattered heart of mine?
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Tuesday, September 27, 2005-)
+9/27/2005 09:50:00 PM]*
# arlox-
heex.. today will be happy de bahx.. at least i will try.. yeah.. today went out with my friend to pass another friend something.. then later go play basketball with my friends.. again.. had a great time playing bahx.. hahax.. then later go talk talk a while then go home le.. heex.. nth much today worx..
then later when want go take bus that time.. i happen to see her house again.. and the same bus stop.. i tell myself.. not to think to much.. must always be happy.. so i go at the bus stop wait for bus.. then i saw sth.. i saw a couple together.. they were holding and waiting for bus.. was quite close de.. then was happy for them.. when the bus arrive, i saw the guy gave the girl a kiss and then went to board the same bus as me.. at this sight.. i was some how thinking of the past when me and her.. ya.. but in the end.. i still remain happy all the way..
heex.. and also met a new friend bahx.. verlyn.. heex.. hihi.. nice to meet u worx.. heex..
thank u 8tails, crazy gal, memories and all the other friends.. really.. i am ok de.. i am not crying upon losing her.. i am not sad that i dun have her love.. i am happy for her cox she had found her true happiness bahx.. if she is happy.. i am happy too.. heex.. dun worry about me guys.. i know how to control my emotions and feelings de.. heex..
yeah.. today i did it.. no sad thing worx.. hahax.. always remain happy bahx.. heex..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
happy living here in this world where only heaven knows.. and heaven will one day sent a guardian angel and look over me de.. i believe so.. heex..
love as shown and tot me lots of things that i did not know in the past.. happy with every day that passes by.. heex.. too all those ppl who read my blog.. u all take care too ok? heex.. kkx.. end here lo..
ermx.. fen.. when free tell me can? i wan to tok to u about sth.. quite important bahx..
augustine end here lo.. bye!
=)
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Monday, September 26, 2005-)
+9/26/2005 12:59:00 PM]*
# ...-
this few days.. i think i going to miss her lots arx.. just now read those bulliten things posted by her.. i was wondering how she is.. she seem sad.. but.. i cannot do anything.. i dun know if she still treat me as a friend.. or had already forgotten the existence of me.. i really dun know.. i wish i had the answer.. i really do.. the way she answer those question let me feel a certain sense of sadness in her.. like she is hurt.. i really wan to find out more.. i wan to call her and talk.. make her happy again.. but i know i am not her stead.. i cannot do anything.. just hope that her stead can treat her better.. i was hoping for her to be my closest friend even though we are not stead.. but she seems to be drifting further and further from me.. but my love for her did not change a bit.. honestly.. i am jealous.. jealous that they guy she love is not me.. jealous and regret deeply in my heart.. but.. i really hope.. hope that her stead can really treat her more better.. better in a sense where he can take some time to accompany her go out walk walk.. cox i know she like to go out walk walk and have fun de.. from what i know, i only know she often hang out at kovan, compass, hougang point, all these places.. but she loves to go out walk walk bahx.. especially with someone she loves.. if i was her boyfriend.. i will always be there whenever she needs me, pei her go out when she is lonely.. do everything for her just to see her happy.. but sadly.. now, i only can think.. but cannot experience the love again.. sobx..
one thing that hurts me lots is that.. why is she treating me like this arx? after whatever i did for her.. those small small gifts i bought for her.. games, cds, books, necklace, bags, food, anything.. at that time.. i really tot she will only love.. but i guess.. i was a fool.. cox she say one thing.. that make me believe her.. one time.. when we quarrel until very very big.. i suggested to break up to end each others misery.. and she said something that make me regretted my mistake.. she say.. "then how.. after all the waiting i waited when you were having your o level, after everything i had to put thru your parents.. and now to break.. and whose shoulder shall i lie one whenever i am tired.. whose arms shall i hug when i am sad.. who is going to be there when i cry.." once i hear this.. i was somehow touch by her words.. and i am going to love her till the very last breath of mine in this world.. even now.. i admit.. i still love her.. i wan to be that guy to be there for her whenever she needs me de.. hiash..
augustine really loves u fen.. augustine is really sorry le.. he had regretted alot le.. now he knows his mistakes and promises to be a very good stead to you.. but augustine dun wan to break u and him up.. he only knows he can wait de.. augustine here can wishes u everlasting happiness and also hope that you and ur stead can be happy too.. dun be sad and confused le.. be happy bahx.. please do call augustine to talk sometimes.. he really misses u lots.. augustine was to have a very close friend.. can you be his close friend? augustine is always here de..
*pray* fen stead, please take a very good care of fen.. dun like her be sad and confused.. let her be happy more often.. thank you for looking after her.. and hope u can love her with all your heart *pray*
*pray* fen.. please try to work hard for this year exam.. i know you hate sch but at least please try to pass.. i know you can do it de.. i believe in you.. anything dun know can find me.. and also remember to eat ur food.. stop skipping lunch or dinner le.. later ur gastric more pain.. must really take good care.. there is always a place reserve for u in my heart *pray*
*pray* to all my friends out there.. all the best in what eva u guys are doing.. best wishes and also good luck worx.. remember to always stay happy and dun be sad.. if sad find me bahx.. me make u happy again in anyway i can de *pray*
hurtx
sad
me
augustine..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end14th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
+9/26/2005 11:43:00 AM]*
# ~aihyo~-
hahax.. everytime at night forget to update my blog.. cox me play and play till very late then very tired le.. so neber update.. hahax.. then now is holiday for me le.. so stay at home and update lo.. hahax..
ytd nth much happen bahx.. went out with family.. then later go play basketball, then happen to walk till her house downstair.. it reminds me alot of things.. when we are together and in the same school.. everytime after school, no matter rain or shine, what we are doing.. i will always pei her go home de.. i was so happy and honour to pei her go home.. and when reach that bus stop.. after she alight from the bus.. she would look up and smile at me.. as i am sitting at the upper deck of the bus.. and when she reach home, she will call me and we start to talk again.. i was so happy.. everytime i see her leave me, see her go.. i have a feeling that wants me to cry.. to drop my tear.. and i would say to myself whenever i see her.. take care my lao po.. in my heart i will always love you de.. really.. thats what i always do when seeing her go home.. but now i have no chance..
later going to compass point there.. dun know if got chance to see her or not.. but hope so bahx.. i so sorry to all my friends out there.. but i will try to write happy things one day.. but that day have not come yet.. one day i something happy will be written here.. i assure u..
love
love-me
l0ve-augustine-me
end13th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Sunday, September 25, 2005-)
+9/25/2005 12:01:00 AM]*
# ~24~-
today is the 24 of september worx.. 24.. heex.. this number will be always in my heart de.. heex.. well, i think i will try to be happy in this post worx.. got receive some comments about my blog thru my friends.. heex.. thank u guys.. actually you all dun say i also dun know that i been writing lots of sad things.. hiash.. it all depends in my feeling de bahx..
today was telling myself to always remain happy thru out the whole day.. cox 24.. to me, every 24 of each month will be quite a sad day for me bahx.. it was once the happiest and luckiest number of my life.. but it had all been gone just like that le.. but at least today i was not that sad.. although there are some parts where i was thinking and thinking about something.. but.. today i really had fun.. yupx.. i really did..
opps.. think my feelings are here again.. if today, we are still together, i think is will be 1 year and 7 months le worx.. its been very long.. but sadly.. it all ended 3 months ago.. and the most sad thing is that.. i still cannot forget her.. really think is part of me dun wan to let go.. me love her.. can i try to love someone else.. i dun dare to try.. i dun even dare to think of it at all.. love someone, is it very easy? i not sure too.. think today will keep it short.. heex..
feeling gone le.. playing game is up next.. hahax.. so i end her le.
augustine was here was..
loving u all lots..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end12th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Friday, September 23, 2005-)
+9/23/2005 11:44:00 PM]*
# ~thinking~-
today was suppose to stay at home de.. but my mother wan me go out to my father shop.. so i go lo.. but go there do nth also.. hahax.. if give me choose, i rather stay at home.. heex.. today, my feeling was very funny de.. cox everyday i grow up with this feeling of loss of my ex.. in the past.. i dun have de.. i did not have any trouble with my feelings and emotions anymore.. but recently.. i start to miss her again.. i dun know what is this but.. maybe something is telling or giving me a hint bahx.. i also not sure.. to follow this feeling or what.. but.. maybe i will bahx..
today at my father's shop, let me think of many wonderful memories of me and her.. in the past, her house internet cannot use mahx.. then happen near my father shop there got a internet cafe.. so i intro her to go.. and she was quite happy bahx.. so everytime when she is free, she will come and find me and use internet.. i am very happy to see her and also most importantly, seeing her happy.. i paid for all the internet fares.. this is what i can do for her.. somethings i give her surprises like buying food for her to eat.. or can go out with her walk walk.. but sometimes.. sadly.. she need to go home herself.. and i cannot stand that.. the hurt, the pain.. i try to get rid of the pain by joking with her.. making her laugh again.. but.. she always goes home alone.. and i am very sad.. we did quarrel.. orchard mrt station is also another place where i will alawys remember.. i am always there waiting for her to come.. and then we will go to tang center there.. and i treat her eat the yaki tori Q chicken.. i know that is one of her favourite food.. so i will surprise her as much as i can.. heex.. make her happy.. yupx.. but that is all the past le.. often i wanted to be with her still.. seeing her laughing at my jokes.. lying down on my shoulder when tired.. holding my hand tightly and neber let go.. all this will always be kept in my heart.. do u know fen? i still love u.. i dun wan to give u up..
someone mention to me that i should stop loving her.. cox both of us will suffer.. sorry to say this.. but i think is not bahx.. i dun think she is suffering now.. although i not clear how her stead is treating her or how is she recently.. but from what she told me before.. she say she is very xinfu with him.. and i hope so bahx.. i not quite sure if she had already forgotten who i am le.. maybe to her.. i am already a stranger le.. but i also cannot do anything.. yupx.. but i love her.. i read before in some where that to love a person, u did not need to be with that person 24/7 or even must the other person love u back then that is call love.. i can love her.. i only wan her to be happy with her life.. only now.. i have limits.. in the past.. when i was her stead.. i can hug her when she cry or sad.. kiss her when she needed me.. but now.. as a friend or maybe a stranger.. i could only talk to her.. hoping maybe she will listen.. thats all.. or do small things to make her happy.. to see her happy is all i ask for.. so please dun ask me to stop loving her.. she needs someone to care for her de.. i dun wan her to be so lonely and sad.. i really hope her stead can treat her right..
i do not wan to be the guy who broke off their relationship so that she can be with me.. the only thing i can do it wait.. i really love her.. she is so different from other girls i know.. she loves her stead in a way that i think is very special de.. and i really appreciate it.. but its too late le.. thats why i love her.. and in this world.. there is only one her.. no one can replace her in my heart.. i will wait for her..
to me.. this three words i love you not only have a meaning but it represents something.. it represents me.. me over her for u.. and to love you.. and to show u the care and concern that u needed from me.. all i can say is.. i will not hurt u de.. i learnt my lesson le.. i hope u will always stay happy.. and next time see me can say hi? is all i ask for le.. last but not least.. i wish u happiness forever worx.. u really must take care.. if need help in studies.. find me? i will help u till the end de.. i will not leave u alone in the dark..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
stranger in the dark..
heaven knows whose guardian angel i shall be..
end11th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
+9/23/2005 12:06:00 AM]*
# ~busy~-
opps.. sorry.. so long then update.. this few days been studying and preparing for my poly exams.. dun think can make it.. quite hard bahx.. sad is all i can say.. part is blame on me laziness.. hahax.. but.. hiash.. see how long..
today went out with my friends.. hahax.. today so happy.. last paper le.. then go out with poly friends to play lan like so call to celebrate like that.. spent 7.50 on the games.. so ex.. then later went my friend house.. cox later going to watch movie mahx.. free de.. quite nice.. hahax.. then later feel like going compass to see if i got the fate to see her or not.. cox i somehow have a feeling inside of me that she will be at compass.. and so i went and i happen to saw her.. inside of me was quite happy cox its been very long since i saw her le.. but sadly she neber say hi to me.. so its ok bahx.. she tell me she was in a bad mood. hope nth much happen to her.. only can wish for her to be happy.. yupx...
ermx.. recently.. alot of ppl had ask me to give up her.. even her herself also say the same things.. but this is my decision.. she is not suffering.. she is happy that she now is xin fu. i dun mind being sad.. being lonely.. or even suffer.. so what? if all my hurts and pain can be exchange for her happiness.. why not? to love a person does not mean that i need to be with her or to be even to be her stead so i can call love her right? all i just can do is to see her happy.. happy with everything she is doing.. i am contented le..
please do not worry for me much.. today been a long day.. time for a good rest.. take care lots ok? hahax.. whoever you are who always read my blogs.. thanks!!
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end10th..
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Monday, September 19, 2005-)
+9/19/2005 07:28:00 PM]*
# ~ar chew~-
today feeling much better le.. today got my exam in sch.. hiash.. so sianx.. dun know how to do again.. but will still continue to work hard de.. hahax.. then later reach home do nothing.. but later going to study again.. work harder worx..
should i give up or should i not.. i really dun know.. till now, i still not sure.. its been quite long since we broke up but.. hiash.. i just cannot let go.. to me.. its like she went on a holiday and hopefully one day will come bac.. but i not sure if that is what i want it to be.. boo....
the story that i had promise will post later.. recently feeling quite weak.. very easily ache here and there.. or even tired.. dun know what happen to me.. dun wan go see doctor.. if there is sth wrong with me.. then.. let it be bahx.. i also dun know worx..
today still kind of weak.. so will not type much bahx.. when feeling better will write lots and lots de.. hahax.. sorry guys..
love
love-me
sick-augustine-me
end9th
do u love me?
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
+9/19/2005 02:44:00 AM]*
# totally sad case-
thankx guys.. i know u all wan me good.. want me happy.. but the problem is i still cannot let it go.. i dun wan to.. i wan be with her only.. i not sure why my heart feels that way but this is way i wan to be.. hiash.. confused and hurtx..
today been a sad day.. just finish my game of warcraft with my friends.. hahax.. have some fun there.. tml exam le.. need to work hard.. now go orh orh.. wake up then continue..
amy.. so sorry to hurt u time and time again.. hiash.. me not purposely.. me is my heart dun know what to do.. there are times i feel like giving up but there are times that i dun.. i not sure why i like that.. but i really hope there is an answer i can know.. hiash.. been doing lots of foolish things..
arx.. augustine!! get a grip of yourself.. hiax.. dun wan say much bahx.. only one thing i can say.. my life now had become better le.. feels like my lucky star is shinning on me once again.. but there is something missing.. not some physically but is something emotionally.. i only wan her.. no one else.. can replace my heart or her..
she told me just now that me and her cannot be together anymore. cox she dun wan me anymore.. is it true? i not sure.. only can say maybe bahx.. but what can i do? no matter how long i will always wait for u de.. just like a story in a book.. if a guy can do that.. i sure i can too.. will post the story other time..
and stella.. opps.. sorry.. when u online in msn i was playing games.. did not notice ur msg in msn.. quite sad.. miss out and opportunity to chat with u.. hiash.. i dun think we can chat like last time le.. when it was only u and me and we are happily chatting away.. this few days or weeks or even months without you had let me think of the past again.. please dun blame urself.. its not ur fault.. i dun blame you.. i only happy when u are happy bahx.. take care lots..
in this world.. there was once augustine sim who live on it.. but sooner or later.. he might leave.. dun know thru what ways but somehow something will happen.. in this life.. the only one thing he regretted is not having to appreciate and hold on to his stead.. he regretted it deeply.. only now he can wait.. but how long.. no one knows.. been rather happy with other things.. now only thing missing is her.. hope she will come bac..
and also hope her stead can treat her better.. dun always leave her alone running here and there.. been worrying for her.. but no one knows.. i do anything just to see her happy.. but i cannot do anything for her to return to me.. only one thing i can do is wait..
augustine today is no more love..
but is still the same me..
only hurts and sadness and pain..
hurtx..
hurtx-me
hurtx-augustine-me
end8th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Saturday, September 17, 2005-)
+9/17/2005 11:37:00 PM]*
# ?sad/happy?-
ytd went to sch for my exam.. hiash.. sianx.. totally dun know how to do.. scared fail.. hiash.. bo bian.. then later when out with poly friends lo.. amy, so sorry worx.. did not feel the vibration.. stupid me.. hiash.. after exam neber change bac to normal.. then still silent mode.. then amy msg me but neber reply.. then kind of make her unhappy.. so sorry.. promise that i will make u the most happiest girl in the world that.. really!! then later went to play basketball.. was at my top form ytd.. ermx.. guys.. i still dun get it.. why am i call xie mu wai dao? and the way i shoot the ball is call angel ball.. hahax.. and devil with angel? dun get it.. hahax.. but i tot my shooting style is call floater? hahax..nvm bahx.. then reach home lo.. played dota.. had a great game.. good long game worx.. 1st time play until so high.. hahax.. and also amy msg me.. wan her to be the happiest, nth but the happiest!!
then today was spending the whole day working.. neber go my youth club.. so sad.. hahax.. but its ok bahx.. then work le.. went to compass, want to look for friends but suddenly not feeling well then head home.. now think better a bit le bahx.. only feel tired.. hahax.. thats all i can say le bahx..
in this world.. there is one me.. and in the same world.. there is one u.. we once met each other thru friends, internet, chatrooms, become together as one.. hoping to last forever and give each other neber ending love.. our goal was to be with each other.. things did turn our the way we wanted it to be.. love, hope, dreams, fate.. but sadly.. a small mistake cox by me had turn everything upside down in a blink of the eye.. it must be my fate.. but i know some how.. we will be together again.. i dun know when.. i dun wish to know when.. i choose to believe.. believe in we will be together again..
let me be the one.. let me love you.. let me be with you.. let me guide you.. let me shower care and concern on you.. let me show you the way.. let me hold ur hand and walk thru every joy, sorrow places that we met.. let me.. let augustine.. let love..
let
love-augustine-me
love you once more..
in this world full of surprises, happy or sad, a stranger in the dark that is me is walking around.. showering love, care and concern on one particular person in his heart.. it is me, augustine.. loving u till my last breath in this world.. love, augustine, me..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end7th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Thursday, September 15, 2005-)
+9/15/2005 08:26:00 PM]*
# ~today~-
Well, today was quite ok bahx.. nothing much happen to me.. again, whole day stay at home.. wan to study for tml exam.. hahax.. so later will be studying thru the whole night lo.. meet someone new thru friendster.. very happy to meet her.. hahax.. all i can say is have great fun toking to her and so.. yupx.. hahax.. then when downstair play bball a while.. then my ex call.. was surprised she call.. so faster call bac lo.. then happen to say about her friend thing bahx.. haix.. i write meaningful things to my ex.. then one of her friend that she dun like go copy and paste all i written into her profile.. but i really write those meaningful thing myself de.. sometimes when the feeling comes, i can write alot alot alot worx.. hahax.. overall was a happy day bahx..
today go friendster, saw my ex account and picture.. she now looks so cute and pretty le.. feel like going to her and give her a hug and take good care of her.. was happy for her that she is going out with her friends le.. in the past, most of her friends somehow leave her alone.. then she very sad.. so i was always there for her.. thats why our relationship will so strong.. we are always together.. but sadly, after i started working with my father.. then i did not have that time to pei her.. so she was back with her friends.. and happily.. they get along le.. i was happy for her.. but sadly.. i let her go.. although i admit i dun wan to let her go.. i wan to love her.. i wan to show my care, my concern.. my everything for her.. but.. i.. just cannot do it anymore.. i dun her to suffer with me.. i dun wan her to be in pain.. i know that maybe this breakup, she may find someone better than me.. but in my heart.. i still wan to be with her.. will she ever return to me.. i really hope so.. now seeing the pictures, knowing that she and her friends are happily getting along very well, i am very happy.. and i hope that i can share this joy with her some how.. i really do..
the words that came out of her mouth, "we will patch back one day, but not now" is always in my heart.. i start to understand it le.. maybe now is not the time for us to be together.. maybe in her heart she really love me.. but due to something that she is not happy about she leave me, and so i will change.. i now know my mistake, my wrong, what i had done to make her treat me like this e.. so now the only thing i can do is wait for her.. and hope and pray that it may come true..
to her, in this world, i may neber ever find someone who is just like you.. you know that u are the one my heart wan to be with.. i had lost my chance to give u love.. but had change thru love, change just for u.. and hope u can give me that chance.. i neber ever lose it anymore.. i love you..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end6th
the story ends like this;
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+9/15/2005 11:03:00 AM]*
# ~love~-
is love a happy thing? i not sure bahx.. hiash.. been thinking of being love and love someone.. but is it possible? i am not sure too.. cox i dun think i am ready to fall in love or am i? why am i thinking of all this at the time like this.. die.. tml is my exam le.. but have not started studying.. hahax.. love can me a very wonderful and happy thing but some people like to differ.. like me bahx.. at 1st tot love is good and happy and will last, who knows, just in a while, everything all gone le.. but no one to blame.. only can blame me not knowing how to treasure and appreciate her well.. now to think of it, it hurts my heart lots.. but at least i did learnt something.. i now know how to treasure her more le.. appreciate her more.. but is too late.. will things go back in time? or will the time move or travel back just for me? or should i just move ahead and wait for another to appear in my life again? this are questions that i been thinking.. but no matter how i find, i just cannot find the answers.. been happy to know my friends.. they brought great joy in my life.. especially thank you stella.. you been there for me when i was on the verge of breaking down.. thank you lots.. if it was not you to be there i dun think i will still be able to be so cheerful.. so i wish u happy and may find someone who will treat u very good cox u derserve it worx.. really.. honestly!! and also to those ppl who hear my problems.. sorry worx.. keep on bothering you guys that time.. guess i was still unable to stick to reality bahx.. but now think i am fine le.. only one thing is worry about her.. wondering how she is now.. also happy to found my new friend worx.. hahax.. amy!! hihi.. thank u for adding me in friendster. appreciate it lots worx.. hahax.. u must take care ok? heex..
heaven knows where my path will led me too and hope that my guardian angel will led me to her.. dreaming blindly in love.. a stranger in the dark.. no one knows me!!
too beee connttinueed...
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end5th
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, September 14, 2005-)
+9/14/2005 10:02:00 PM]*
# ~happy~-
today arx.. hmm.. not say very bored and not say very fun.. hahax.. actually want to go play basketball at night de.. then the stupid light neber on.. make me play in the dark.. and no one playing.. wondering where everyone when.. so head for home lo.. but also good.. then i can update my blog.. or not later i forget again.. hahax.. today went out to help me mum run errand.. see.. so good orhx.. hahax.. just kidding.. then later go home do nth le.. hahax.. only online play games lo.. die.. two more days to exam but have not study yet.. tml must study le.. wish me luck!! heex..
today went out then have this sad feeling..cox i also very long neber go out shopping le.. everytime is go poly, then play basketball, stay at home, play pool, play dota, go youth club, but neber shop.. guess is cox of me bahx.. scare later reminds me of the feeling when me and my ex.. i still cannot forget her.. and i think i dun wish too bahx.. actually, i also dun know what is my heart thinking.. hiash.. must be happy..
24 this number hor.. use to be a very happy number for me.. and it was my lucky number.. cox my ex and me birthday is on 24.. but different month.. and we stead on 24 of a month also.. and so i guess 24 is my lucky number.. recently been doing everything will see this number.. like when i see the time, then will me like 5.24 or 18.24.. so zhun lo.. dun know why like this.. hahax.. but now.. i think will be a sad 24 for me le.. cox i lose her le.. regret.. hope can come bac to me one day..
my birthday.. falls on 24 of august.. but this year.. i did not so call enjoy my birthday.. but dun get the wrong intention.. i dun blame anyone for that.. i dun blame my friends for not celebrating, i dun blame my ex too.. only can blame myself.. instead of celebrating a happy birthday for me.. i quarrel with her.. so sad horx.. we call me so rush.. dun know why.. i just wan her and me to be together again mahx.. then... suddenly like i become another person lo.. thinks of it makes me sad.. too be continued..
heaven knows..
guardian angel..
love..
love-me..
love-augustine-me..
end4th
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Tuesday, September 13, 2005-)
+9/13/2005 05:53:00 PM]*
# ~opps~-
arx.. yesterday forget to update.. hahax.. so now write yesterday and today de.. well.. yesterday nothing much happen bahx.. whole day was at home watching tv, playing dota, surfing internet, eat, sleep.. hahax.. sounds like a pig horx.. hahax.. but i am not worx.. hahax.. just kidding..
then today go out to school to study.. but in the end never study much lahx.. study half way so sian then go find my friend lo.. then go eat play game.. then later go home.. so this two days very sianx. but tonight got shooting stars.. hahax.. can watch le.. yesh!! whole house to myself.. muahahax.. heex..
was thinking about her too.. wondering how is she.. i find that i am bluffing myself alot.. always telling ppl i want to forget her.. even she also wan me to forget her.. but i just cannot.. i am sorry for bluffing u all.. it is just so hard for me to forget her.. in my heart.. i still wan to be with her.. she told me that when she was with me, she was not the real her.. she had to be someone else just for me.. but i dun wish her to do that.. all i wan her is to be happy.. thats more important.. all married couples or dating couples wish for each other to be happy right? thats what i am doing.. but.. am i right? i am worried for her.. about her health.. her studies.. but i know i cannot do anything.. all i can do.. is just to wait for her.. i find that i learnt to appreciate you more now than before.. in the past, with you around, i often did not do my part as a stead.. and end up making u angry and sad.. so sorry to do that.. now that u have left.. i regreted my actions, my wrong-doings.. but it is too late.. but i choose to believe that u can come back to me.. will u? i promise i willl not hurt you.. really.. i will be the best ever stead that u always wanted.. at least, i'll try..
maybe this is my life.. i need to continue walking.. i believe that everything happen for a reason.. but what is the reason that she dun love me anymore.. i still not sure.. but i am determine to find out..
last but not least, everyout there.. stay happy worx.. thanks for being my friends.. you guys rockx.. hahax..
love
love-me
love-augustine-me
end3rd
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Sunday, September 11, 2005-)
+9/11/2005 09:28:00 PM]*
# ~sad day~-
now everywhere i go will let me think of the past.. cox me and my ex almost went everywhere le.. been together for quite long bahx.. then also went out alot of times.. still cannot forget her.. the places we go are full of fun and excitement.. i can still remember every time when i wan go out with my ex.. i will be so happy.. cannot wait for that day to come.. cox i really love going out with her.. laughing away, toking away, joking, eating.. all this fun things will always be remembered by me de.. heex.. at that time we are inseperated.. we always go as one.. and neber leave each other de.. but as got one time i had to work and thats when everything change.. thats another story.. to be continued....
today quite sad for me worx.. was actually happy de.. working whole day.. then later i remember all my friends were kind of not feeling well.. so i tot of sending somehow a take care msg to everyone of them.. then happen to remember my ex.. she have gastric pain.. i very worry for her.. so i send her a msg.. not expecting a reply.. asking her to take care and becareful.. but who knows she reply me a msg that kind of hurt my shattered heart.. then that spoil my mood.. well.. i dun blame her.. cox maybe i did do something wrong.. or she was in a bad mood.. just hope she is happy can le.. then later a while later my mood then to get better.. so was kind of back to my old self le.. in my heart.. i pray silently for my ex to be ok.. let her overcome all problems and always be happy.. i dun care how much she hate me.. or dun know me.. but i still wan to help her.. today feeling strange.. like whole body no strength like that.. stomach have a very piercing sharp pain.. dun know what is it.. but it hurts alot.. dun wan see doctor.. no one knows.. keep it a secret.. will continue more tml de..
love-augustine-me
ended 2nd
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
(Saturday, September 10, 2005-)
+9/10/2005 08:11:00 PM]*
# ~new~-
me today then decide to write blog again worx.. very long neber write le.. last time i write blog is because of my ex tell me to write.. that time she wan to see what i write.. so i write for her lo.. but now, she no longer love me le.. i wan to write all my happy and sad memories here as to remember.. cox my heart is always thinking of her.. now i know that she dun love me le but i still dun wan to let her go.. i dun know why.. part of me still love her.. my friends all told me to forget her.. some even try telling me ways.. but none work.. all i can say is.. if one day there is a chance for me to love her again.. please let it happen.. maybe i was blinded by love or make stupid by love for doing such things.. for waiting for her.. but i choose to believer so.. i wan to believe.. i wan to love her.. i wan the us to become the same way as we did last time.. i miss her lots every single day now she is gone.. i know no she got bf.. all i can do is hope for that guy to treat her better.. i dun wish to see her in pain, sad and in tears.. all i wan for her is to be happy.. to be continued....
today is quite a fun day for me.. went to east coast play and play.. hahax.. btw.. thanks to u guys for for helping me out in this blog.. thanks.. i appreaciate it.. will continue next time with more things bahx..
to her.. in my heart now only got you.. i dun care with u hate me, dun like me, dislike me or what.. but i still wan be here for u.. if u need help just call or msg me bahx.. and if there is a chance, maybe u give that chance to me and we will be back again.. thru this break up i learnt alot of things.. if u were to give me another chance, i promise to love u and not to hurt u.. and i believe u when u tell me.. we will patch back one day.. i wait for that day to happen.. really!!
love-augustine-me
ended
the story ends like this;
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