euu typedd*:
blog
(Thursday, June 29, 2006-)
+6/29/2006 09:36:00 PM]*
# love u no more-
Yes.. i had to tell myself i dun love u anymore.. and that will come true.. i will show u.. i admit.. i love u.. yes.. and now u avoiding me because of this then i guess its time to stop right? ya.. tok to u just now.. was fighting every of my emotions..
now i have been clear of what i wan.. and what i will do.. love sure brings joy to those.. but in the dark.. it hurts most.. so.. now to stop my hurt and to let u carry on with ur happiness and joy.. i will stop loving u..
the only thing i going to miss is those times that i spend with u.. not online ish it online or offline.. or going out.. i dun think we will be sitting with each other side by side.. ciggy in one hand.. or pei u eat.. seeing u eat.. or just to see u do ur things.. i going to miss all those.. those i really treasure in my life.. i dun know why but i really love u.. since if u dun wan me too.. i guess i have to stop..
augustine now officially dun love her anymore.. its true.. all i am to her ish friends.. i do not know if there is a best in front but we are friends.. but i guess she still angry or irritated by me.. either ish my actions or maybe she is feeling moody bahx.. if she scold me she can be happy i dun mind.. all i wan her ish to be happy.. thats all..
i really going to miss those times i spent with u.. what to do.. for ur happiness.. my small scacrifice is worth it.. and i really hope this time love will not make u cry.. but tell u 1st.. i will still be here.. for u.. not waiting for u to love me.. but i will be here for u if u need me.. just call me and i will be there.. whenever u need me.. i promise.. i know u always tell me promises are meant to be broken but i dun want it to be broken cox its for u..
take care lots..
love
love me
love augustine me
bye..
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, June 27, 2006-)
+6/27/2006 09:39:00 PM]*
# given up hope..-
love hurts.. deep down.. i been recieving alot of questions.. my friends all asking me if i patch back with her.. and when i say no.. they dun believe me.. cox they always see me and her together everytime.. but the truth ish really.. no.. i neber ever did patch back with her.. i was just her friend.. but yes.. i wan to patch back.. i wan to prove to her that my love will be different.. but she just dun wan to give me a chance.. well.. its ok.. i dun wan to force love.. i rather wan it come naturally.. but too think that my chances are gone.. not even one.. it hurts me lots..
for the past i been helping her with alot of things.. i pei her when she bored.. i buy ciggy and we share.. when she was sad.. i was there.. when she need someone cox of her family problems.. i was there.. she was hungry and sad.. i was there too.. but i guess she neber ever need notice me or notice what i had done for her.. its just only a orh.. like i should be doing that for her.. i dun know if i am doing the right thing.. its just.. i feel like doing those things for her.. but now i guess i cannot even have the chance to pei her go out anymore..
i dun blame her.. maybe she think i am not good enuff for her.. or maybe i am really that sux in love.. who knows the real answer.. or could be the feeling ish not right bahx.. just hope she can find someone who can love her the way she love that person.. cox the way she love a person is so amazing.. that the person will feel happy whenever when he is with her.. but just hope that guy (whoever it is) to treat her well.. i dun wish her to get hurtx again..
at 1st.. i tot after the ton.. everything is going to be ok.. we will be fine.. happy with each other.. cox i can see she is treating me more better.. when see me will laugh.. happy.. smile smile.. but now.. i see more of her anger and sadness in me.. i guess maybe she ish kinda irritated by me.. i dun know what happen or what cause this.. maybe she already found someone she can love.. and there is no use of me anymore..
i so sad now.. i dun know what to do.. i wan to love.. who doesn't.. but i not given any chances.. some more i dunch think i can share my problems with anyone except post in the blog bahx.. cox i guess she dun like to hear my problems.. when she hear she will scold me or say me and we will cold war.. who can i relate my problems too.. suddenly in this world i feel alone.. but the funny thing ish when other ppl tell her their problems she will consuel them.. tell them what to do.. but what about me? nth? hiashx..
my life really is in a mess again.. studies is getting better le.. at least thats good.. but in love and family.. everything ish worse..
i really love u.. i know u dun wan to hear me saying this to u anymore le.. but i really do.. guess now i had to give up.. and just sit and wait till u need my company again.. but when is that going to be? u promise me we will patch.. but i guess its a lie.. and who knows i am right.. why.. why.. which part of me do u not like.. hiashx..
love
love me
love augustine me..
i see dark clouds over me..
raindrops splash on me..
but i when i look up the sky..
its so bright..
i so down..
i not trying to gain pity from anyone..
is just i wan to write down how i feel..
sad..
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, June 25, 2006-)
+6/25/2006 10:55:00 AM]*
# what to do..-
i lost now.. i am so confuse on what i should do.. i mean.. i like her.. i did try to tell her alot of time.. but i dunch think she ever did like me bahx.. i also not sure.. or maybe she do like me.. or i am just not the right kind of guy for her bahx.. cox i guess there are much more handsome and better guys than me around her.. so why will she choose me even though i did lots for her.. i also dun know if i do is right or wrong.. it just that the more i do things for her.. the more happy she become.. the more i love her.. but i dunch get the love back.. i so scare.. i really scare if one day she found a new boyfriend then what about me..
i guess i lose all my confidence in my dream ytd night.. cox i use to think another way.. i use to think that if i continue to be with her maybe she will accept me.. but now i dunch think i have that confidence to think like that.. my dream.. i was with her.. so happy.. i try to hold her hand and i did it.. she did not reject me.. and as we are walking shopping along.. she suddenly let push my hand away and run towards a very handsome guy and hug him.. then lata she intro to me that is her boyfriend.. at that point.. i felt the whole world just fall down right before me.. then i woke up.. i start to think.. if she really were to find a boyfriend outside.. will i feel that way.. if i will then i got to do sth to stop it.. and again i think alot of stupid things.. i not saying that she should not find a boyfriend or what.. i am not controlling or fighting against her freedom to have a boyfriend or find new guys.. i just wondering what will happen if she leave me.. *thinking*
[F]orever [E]verlasting [N]everending, is what i see in love.. and those words in bracket is the person i love.. maybe its time for me to see clearly and understand the truth.. take it harshly and just keep the hurt inside of me.. we really cannot be together le right.. even no matter how hard i try to be good to u.. i must think that i will be ur best friend, ur true friend and a real friend.. i will be understanding.. but no matter how things change.. no matter what will happen.. my love for u will neber change.. it may sound silly.. but there is no one else that i can love expect for u.. i love you..
still thinking..
love
love me
love augustine me
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, June 21, 2006-)
+6/21/2006 12:11:00 PM]*
# a feeling-
There is an uncertain feeling in my heart.. cox i dun know what i wan to be.. days after the ton.. i been feeling very sianx.. i have no mood to do anything.. no mood to study or play.. or even to go out.. i not sure whats wrong with me..
but soon i found out whats wrong.. its because in my heart i missing the times i spent with her.. those times and days are so enjoyable.. seeing her already makes me happy like anything.. now.. i cannot be with her.. i cannot see her.. my heart aches.. but i still need to try to get over the ache.. no point feeling sad and moody.. sometimes i will think.. what if she already found another person that she like.. or maybe a stead.. i am wondering.. is it everyone who like someone have this type of same thinking as me? i really do not know.. i had once tot that love should be a couple meet for the 1st time and can feel that certain connection between them and then they start to develop.. although i see and heard of many things like one person like another person.. but the person who got like dun seem to care about the person who like.. and the one hurts the most is the person who likes.. and the person who got like ish so fortunate.. but i guess they dun realise it themselves.. lol.. opps.. i kinda of confused about what i typing.. what like and got like.. hope u all understand.. hahax..
in my heart i know its u..
love
love me
love augustine me
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, June 20, 2006-)
+6/20/2006 11:20:00 PM]*
# had joy and hurts.-
Been quite long since i update.. this few days dun have the feeling to update so neber update lo.. but now since quite sianx.. some more also dun know what to do then come update..
hmm.. i went to ton at pasir ris park.. had lots of fun.. but also very tired.. cox hardly can get enuff slp.. the ppl there at night.. twelve midnight still there banging and making noise.. super noisy.. the mata come a while say say and in the end also no use.. they also continue to make those noise.. lol.. but did enjoy myself..
take alot of new pictures too.. but dun know nice or not.. lol.. now must study hard le bahx.. common test coming le.. no choice.. need to study.. sianx.. hate studying.. i rather enjoy and have fun.. if everyday i can ton outside.. wahx.. i believe i am in heaven lioax.. lol..
well.. i did sth today.. i go ask her for us to be together.. i know it sound kind of stupid.. cox i guess i already know the answer is either no or dun know.. and i still ask.. some more now she recently kind of sad and moodswing.. plus super tired.. kind of worry for her.. but dun know what i can do to help.. some times i feel i am so useless.. so hopeless.. just cannot make her happy.. but i hope i did in other ways.. i find that when i meet her and we talk or be able to see each other.. she will be there laughing at my actions.. my super cold lame jokes.. it makes me happy to see her like that.. but when i at home online.. i dun often get to see her laugh.. or maybe to see a lol when we chat at msn.. maybe she have some family problems at home.. so she kind of sad and irritated bahx.. but when she outside with me.. she always laugh and smile.. and i enjoying making her laugh.. now i just can hope she will recover from all her sadness and start to laugh again..
me too also have my own problems.. still the same three problems.. but guess they are improving well expect for my family things bahx.. i come to a conclusion where i really cannot connect with my family.. i not sure.. maybe ish just my imagination or just a feeling.. i not sure..
oh.. i love being with u.. not only thru online but thru meeting u.. seeing u by myside.. laughing.. playing.. or what.. i just like u beside me.. the look of u ish just so cute.. if can i dun wan to leave u or even to let u go.. when i cannot see u.. i so sad.. so no mood.. i cannot concentrate on my things cox i will be thinking how are u.. when i can see u.. i will be so excited that i beg the time to faster go.. and when i finally be with u i hope for time to slowly down.. i cherish and treasure the moment when i am with u.. i really fall in love with u.. but dun know if u will accept me once more.. every second.. minute.. hour.. with u.. ish so precious i cannot even take any time to waste it.. cox i dun think in my life i ever love a person so deeply.. i had let u off and fly away from my arms but i hope u can come bac to my arms again.. this time arms of happiness and love.. no more hurts.. no more quarrels.. i love you.. can u tell me u love me too..
love really hurts..
but for u..
its worth it..
love
love me
love augustine me..
foreva here..
foreva me..
foreva love..
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, June 09, 2006-)
+6/09/2006 09:35:00 PM]*
# unlucky no more..-
after long time of no updating my blog.. i am finally bac.. hahax.. well.. the main reason ish cox i am no longer unhappy.. and also that i been spending most of my time with her.. so no time update.. hahax.. play game and pei her.. so happy..
well.. this few days things have been going smoothly for me.. nth much had made me unhappy.. except for one thing that make me very unhappy.. sth happen to her.. and to see someone u love getting hurts is not the right thing.. but at that time.. i did not know what to do.. i was thinking what i should do.. and when i knew it.. everything is over.. all i see infront of me ish she is crying and hugging me.. i quickly tell her everything is over.. flag for a taxi and send her home.. i was worrying for her.. wonder how she is.. can she cope it.. it hurts me more to see her like that.. i wan to care for her.. i wan to show her my love.. i wan to tell her not to be afraid cox i will always be here for u.. while playing my basketball.. i observe she was there in a shock mood.. still thinking about what had been done.. all i hope is she can forget about that thing and just treat it as a nightmare and forget everything about it.. cox there ish no point thinking.. and i will be always there whenever she need me.. giving her the security.. the care that she needed.. and help her to massage to relieve her pain.. i do things that no other guys do for their girlfriend or girl friend.. although i do not know if what i am doing is right or wrong but i trust and believe in my heart that, that ish that right thing i should do.. at least for her.. =)
dun worry about ur kor le.. he will be ok.. and when he return from army.. i trust that he will msg u.. remember the date.. and maybe u can contact him too.. and at that time u will get to meet him.. dun think so much le.. i try to make u happy as much as i can..
this few days was spending most of my time with her.. was happy now we are on good talking terms.. at least we are no more quarreling with each other.. or should i say i am not making her angry more.. things really had been good.. my family and i are no more quarreling too.. now the only problem is my studies.. hope i cope it well..
now my relationship problem had solve about 50%.. studies think only 25%.. family 85%.. hope all this will rise to 100%.. i can get what i want.. hahax.. isn't that good? hahax.. but i dun think that will happen bahx.. hahax..
cox no one will know what i thinking.. hahax..
*thinking*
love
love me
love augustine me..
change me..
new me..
love me..
for who i am..
lost without u..
silently..
the story ends like this;
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