euu typedd*:
blog
(Thursday, May 25, 2006-)
+5/25/2006 03:21:00 PM]*
# it just was not my day..-
Its not my day.. what i mean was i am very unlucky this few days.. dun know ish sth wrong that i had done or what.. cox i been having bad luck.. surprise that i update my blog so early today? cox i reach home early..
well.. today was suppose to meet her.. was kind of happy to be able to pei her alone today.. only the two of us.. cox its been quite long since i had that chance to be with her.. i have a lot of thoughts in my mind.. like where to go.. do what.. i just enjoy being with u.. but who knows things did not plan out what i wanted it to be.. her friends last minute want to go k box and invited her to go.. when she ask me how.. i just told her that she should go and enjoy cox i think she will be happy enjoying and singing.. thats what she like to do.. and i cannot force her to be with me cox we are not together.. and also i love to see her happy cox i love her.. and i did sth good today.. i did not show her a face.. cox ytd night i promise her.. i will not show faces in front of her..
i read her blog.. it was not something i expected to be.. so i kind of hurts and sad.. and cause some serious commotion between me and her.. but i know that i am wrong.. it was just my bad luck that she did not see something in me.. something that i had change for her.. but its ok.. at least i did my part.. i always send her home.. see her reach home safely then i go off.. i always go down and find her when she ish bored and lonely.. i do whateva i can just to make her happy.. but i guess it was my bad luck that she did not see all those in me.. or maybe what i do did not touch her abit cox she never quite notice me bahx..
actually i really had fallen in love with u again.. i so sorry to say this.. i just dun know why.. something of u attracts me.. i love being with u.. i cannot wait to pei u.. i cannot wait to go out with u.. i cannot wait even toking with u on the phone.. i went to the bbq just because u call me to go.. i went to pei u cox i know u are lonely.. i just hope to see u happy.. and thats enuff for me.. well at least i guess..
but there ish sth i did not tell anyone.. i been hiding inside of it myself.. i do have problems.. huge and painful problems about love.. but who can i say too? who can i tell too? i cannot possibly tell her about the problems i am facing cox is about me and her.. i scare if i tell her le.. she will think i am those guys who are desperate for love.. and then cause our friendship to be gone.. i rather not.. at least i will keep quiet to myself..
was kind of happy that day u came and u hug me.. at the at the bqq and the chalet.. guess i was moodless that day after my drink of beer.. was feeling low.. cox i was troubling one 3 different things.. love, studies and family.. well.. my friends came over and ask me what happen.. but i just tell them that i had some troubles.. i want to be leave alone.. until when she come to me.. she ask me whats wrong.. and ask is it because of her.. i dun wan to answer.. but no choice.. i cannot make her unhappy.. so i told her.. sorry.. i hate myself.. cox i just cannot seem to forget u.. i wan to love u.. at that moment after i say finish.. i break down.. she hug me and tell me that we are all friends.. dun think too much.. i lean forward.. pull her head and give her a small kiss.. i do not know if she was to drunk to react or what.. but i did kiss her.. she gave me a few more hugs and she left.. cox i told her to go and enjoy herself.. but she want me to come over lata.. i promise and she left.. when going home.. she ask me for a piggyback ride.. so i carry her all the way to downtown there.. it was fun carrying u.. actually i dun think that was ur first time i carry u.. if u remember last time when we are together.. i did carry u before when we are at upper there..
all my memorise seems to be stay forever in my heart.. i do not understand how u forget me but i just cannot forget u.. but i can honestly tell u that i had fallen for the new u.. and not want to talk back about the past..
it was just my bad luck.. i dun blame u.. please.. dun think it this way.. its not ur fault.. my bad luck just that u dun like me.. or have any feelings for me.. well.. i can understand that.. i can see what problems u are facing.. like what i did ytd.. i observe the reason why u are sad and i got it.. i kind of good at these.. but guess i was not good enuff for u.. in the future.. i will tend to avoid my problem more.. but avoiding it will make it worse.. what to do..
as i sit a await for u call.. i miss the days we spend.. i do not know if i can have another chance to be with u again.. or maybe just to pei u for one day alone.. only u and me.. now there is another one in ur life.. i just afraid that u will leave me alone.. i dun know.. and i dun hope that ish true.. i dun wan to be that guy who u know that only can buy ciggy for u thats all.. no.. i dun wan u to think of me this way..
sobx.. i sad.. help me.. someone tell me what to do.. i feel so lost.. i dun know where to go.. what to do.. can u just come bac in arms again.. i want u to be the happiest and luckiest girl in the world.. i dun care what my parents or what other ppl think.. thats their problem.. me and u..
hiashx..
love
hate
hate me..
hate augustine me..
hiashx..
i love you..
the story ends like this;
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